


M'aidez

by AniRay



Series: Commander [9]
Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: Angst, But I tagged them anyway, Cuz i can, Emotional Hurt No Comfort, Not much Nick/June
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 13:35:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20565194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniRay/pseuds/AniRay
Summary: He hadn’t wanted it to be like this.But it was the right call





	M'aidez

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be read after Ch. 10 of Commander

He looked in the rearview mirror.

June was laid across the backseat, a blanket covering the red of her uniform. She was still asleep. But her breathing was regular and he had felt the baby move as he carried her to the car. He hadn’t wanted it to be like this. He hated that he couldn’t say goodbye. He hated that she would wake up confused and alone.

But it was the right call.

Focusing back on the road ahead, he could just make out beginnings of the abandoned airstrip. He had been coming here after work every night to monitor the surveillance. There was none. No one knew that the plane in the field was functional. They didn’t know that it was made to look rusted and un-useable. He still hadn’t taken any chances, though. This was too important.

He turned off of the paved road and on to the gravel path that led to the runway. The closer he got, he could hear the plane’s engine whirring. He looked at June again. But if she noticed the noise coming through his window, he couldn’t tell. Pulling to a stop beside the plane he waited for the pilot to show himself.

_You could go. You could stay with them._

But there was no room in the plan for thoughts like those. He could try to get out later. Right now was her time. He looked up as movement came from his left. The pilot stepped around the plane- doing final checks. He nodded at Nick before continuing his work. It was time. It would be better to get her onboard now. He couldn’t handle a repeat of her first attempt- or the consequences.

Pushing open his door, he got out of the car. He took a deep breath, letting the fear and sadness fall away. He was doing the right thing. That’s all he could focus on. He pulled open June’s door and gentle pulled her upright. Then he carefully scooped her into his arms and headed to the plane.

It was cold inside- no heating. But there was a nest of sorts on the floor and he saw a few blankets. He slid along the wall of the plane until he was sitting with June in his lap. This would be the last time he held her like this. The last time he could watch her sleep. He pulled her close and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you so much, June. I just want you to be happy. So please go be happy.”

He slid out from underneath her and laid her in the next of blankets, covering her with the last two. He turned his head as he heard someone at the door. The pilot poked his head in and nodded. Nick turned back to June as the pilot left him alone again. His eyes went to the swell of her stomach. _I’m gonna miss everything._ The tears he had been trying to hold back stung his eyes. But he didn’t let them fall. He cupped June’s stomach and felt the baby shift. Then he bent down a pressed a kiss where the baby had just moved. “You are going to be happy and safe and free. And I love you more than anything, okay?” Then he was standing up. He turned away from the woman he loved. He walked off of the plane.

He didn’t drive away until the plane was out of sight.

-

He stepped into the room and all eyes landed on him.

He saw Smith and Jacobs were already there. Mitchell and Jones, too. And the Marthas- Lera, Kim, Tina, and Sarah. The rest were probably still on their way. There was no way Carol or Kayla would miss this. And if he hadn’t just put the mother of his child on a plane to a country he’d probably never see- he’d be excited too. This was it- this was the beginning of the end.

“Target out safely, Commander Blaine?”

He turned to Jones and nodded. “Stayed until they were at cruising altitude. It was the pilot’s last communication.” The group all seemed to breathe easier. “We need to get moving. Me and Sarah are ready to go. What about the rest of you?” He watched as they all nodded. He was glad- because they weren’t coming back. “How far out are the others?”

Jacobs stepped forward. “Anna and Kathy should be here in ten. They were going to come together,” he said. Then he glanced around the room nervously. Nick felt tension fill his body, bracing himself, but motioned for Jacobs to keep talking. The other man took a deep breath, then, “No one’s heard from Rae in three days. Rachel went to her house, but no one answered.”

His mind tried to think of all the reasons she might not be there- the ones that didn’t involve death or betrayal. But…there weren’t many. And they didn’t have time to find out. She knew the plan- she knew the meet point. He had to believe she’d find her way to them. These people had become his friends and he wasn’t ready to lose any of them. “Okay. Load up the trucks.” He caught the frown on Sarah’s face. “If she doesn’t find us in three days and we don’t hear anything- I’ll come back for her.”

No one liked the idea of someone staying behind, but it couldn’t be helped. So they all moved to pack the supplies they’d need into the cargo trucks. Boxes of gunpowder packed as charcoal pellets. Hand grenades hidden inside of paperweights. Guns and casings stashed in false bottoms of food crates. Poison in vanilla extract bottles. They held death in their hands.

The last truck was packed by the time the rest of the Marthas arrived. Nick couldn’t help the sigh of relief when he saw Rae standing with the group. She looked a little worn, but he would take worn over hurt or dead any day. “We weren’t sure you would make it, Rae.”

“And miss this? Not a chance, Sir.”


End file.
